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October 15, 2007

My Coming Out Story (well sort of)

Quiet day on the video production front so I thought I would share some thoughts on coming out.  If you don’t already know October is gay history month and this month we also celebrate coming out.  When I listen to and read all of the stories about people who were brave enough to come out to family and friends, I can’t help but be amazed and impressed.  It takes courage – more courage than I ever had.  You know when I look back on my life experiences, my management career, my business, even doing security for 3 years – I have done some bold and courageous things – but deep down inside I never had the balls to come out to my family or friends.  To this date, they (my family) have no idea (although I am sure they suspect – after all I have been with my partner for 14 years) and I have told 1 childhood friend of mine who I have lost contact with.

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All of my life I have been scared of the consequences: losing a job, not getting promoted, being teased or laughed at or never quite fitting in.  So I played the double life, straight all of the time until I got home.  Imagine doing that for more than 15 years…wow..it is tough.  If it wasn’t for my partner Adrian – I think I would be a very depressed person.

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Doing this company and the things we have accomplished in the last couple of years is like therapy for me.  I have met so many interesting people and have learned a lot.  And even thought I can’t say I have a ton of friends or even a few friends, I can say I have a lot of acquaintances and people who I have grown to admire and respect.  It is still difficult for me to just admit to the average joe on the street that I am gay but I am slowly breaking down those walls, doing podcast shows, appearing on camera and just getting out there and making a presence.  I would have to say I am doing more in the gay community the last 2 years than I have done my entire life.

So what’s the motto of all this?  It is never too late.  Come out at your own pace but you know what?  Don’t wait too long and make friends along the way – even if its just one person – that one person can open your eyes and make life so much easier for you.  My life partner was my one person and he made all of the difference in the world.

Thomas

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